The reason why I started this blog was so that when I finish (notice I said 'finish'!) the Half Marathon in May, I wanted to have the process documented. All the good days and bad days leading up to something I never in a million years imagined I would do. So, today is my diary type entry...you can bail on me now if you'd like because I'm probably going to get pretty boring on you!
Today I wasn't feeling it. I really, really needed to get out there and run for a few reasons: it was over 60 degrees today (hello! unheard of!), my husband is leaving on his first of 3 long trips this month so getting a good workout in is going to be difficult for a while, and I haven't run since my long run on Friday so I'm beyond due. But, even given all those reasons, I couldn't get my ass in gear and get motivated. I was just in one of those slumpy moods.
I put on my running gear and wandered around the house for a while waiting for that feeling to kick in but the more I paced around, the more I started to talk myself out of any run at all. So finally, at 3:00, I headed out. I set the Nike+ for time rather than distance in the hopes that I wouldn't think about it as much. I only got 3 miles in.
I got home and while in the shower, started to beat myself up about it. Telling myself that it was my own fault I only ran that far because I had a crappy attitude going into it; how the hell did I expect to finish a half marathon if I was going to train like this, etc, etc. I couldn't get past the "only 3 miles!" statement. Then, for some reason, I started thinking about how far I've come. When I started out, my goal was to run a 5k. Just one 5k. I talked to people that I know that run and they gave that half laugh and "Oh, that's a piece of cake! No problem!" and while I acted all cool and brave, I was thinking "piece of cake??" I was sure it was going to take me a year to get to that point.
There is a lake near me that I used to run around. One loop around the lake is 1 mile around, just 1. I can remember, like it was yesterday, when I couldn't make it around that lake. I'd go back, day after day until finally I was able to make it once around. Then finally twice without stopping. That was a pretty cool day. My husband and I acted like I had just run a full marathon. Not long after that, I had to stop running at the lake because I got bored going around and around over and over. Another big day was the day I ran 6 miles. That was huge. I was so surprised! And sore for a couple of days. Again, that wasn't that long ago. Now I'm up to 11 miles. 11 Miles! That is incredible. I've only been running since June so I think I'm doing great.
I'm at that point where I needed to take a step back, stop beating myself up and give myself a pat on the back and I know that probably sounds a little arrogant, but you know what? I don't care! If you had told me 8 months ago that I would be able to run 11 miles, I would have laughed in your face, but here I am. I know there are going to be some bad run days, just like I've had so many - more than I can count actually - good run days. I want this process to be fun. And it is! So far, I'm really enjoying pushing myself and seeing just how much I am capable of. So screw the 3 mile days! It's going to happen and I've just got to get past it and move on.
All done. Back to our regular sarcastic, complain about the weather, blog girl!
3 comments:
The great thing about "only" days is the reaction you get from the general population - I found myself saying I "only" ran 3 miles, and friends and family will say, what do you mean only!. Most people can't run one! So you are still a bad ass, because 3 miles is an "only" day for you.
What a great way to put it all in perspective...you changed my outlook!
There's always good days and bad days. Sometimes 10 miles is super easy and other days 3 miles kicks my butt. I'm leaning towards the 3 miles kicks my butt the past few weeks, but it will get better.
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