Warning: The following post is proof (yet again) that I can be (a) too competitive, and (b) totally immature.
I'm at the county rec center today, running along minding my own business when a pack of high school boys rolled in (Ok, 'pack' may be an overstatement, but there were 5 of them!) They all had a sheet of paper in their hand and proceeded to jump on the cardio equipment next to me - ellipticals and treadmills. I'm assuming that it was a gym class for kids that are home-schooled because there were a lot of other kids milling around in other areas of the center.
Anyway, at this point, I was about 50 minutes into an hour run so I was all sweaty and had the speed up to get it done. The biggest, most arrogant one, gets on the treadmill one machine over, (there was an elliptical between us) turns it on and proceeds to eat a candy bar while walking (!!!). He had his big, dumb "I'm way cool, yo." attitude on and ate his little snickers and talked all loud and just generally irritated me...yes, I had issues with those kinds of boys in high school...blah. Anyway, I keep running and after a couple of minutes, one of his pin-headed fellow jocks gets on the elliptical next to me. I bump up the speed again because I was trying to get 7 miles finished before my hour was up. Boy 2 leans way over to look at my screen (uh, hello ass-face, rude much?) and says to boy 1 "Dude, she is going way faster than you man." They share some chest beating and grunting and boy 1 ups the speed on his treadmill to what I'm assuming mine was set at and says "dude, seriously?" and boy 1 says "Yeah man! haha, you suck dude!" Ok, now I'm (a) irritated that I am the point of their banter, and (b) decided I'd like to kick both of their asses so what did I do? Oh yes my friends, jacked that puppy up! Ha! So now boy wonder 2 says "Oh man dude, now she is going 8 miles per hour man!" So dip-shit 1 laughs and pushes his buttons. He looked like he was going to throw up. Seriously puke. And as much as I hate puke, I actually would have had some joy in that. Anyway, after about 3 minutes of this, I bump it up again. Yes, yes, I know, I obviously have major issues with respect to, big, pretty, arrogant, high school boys but I figured I could sprint for the last 3 minutes of my run. Boy 1 slows his way down and walks for about 30 seconds which causes boys 2, 3, 4, and 5 to rip him majorly. I was having a hard time pretending I had no idea what all the fuss was about and not passing out. I absolutely refused to stop. So I up it again to 8.3 and sprint until the 59:59 mark when, oh rats, the machine automatically goes into 'cool down' mode. Darn. Sure would have loved to keep up that crazy speed boys! I walk for about 2 minutes, acting like a total fitness bad ass, then get off the treadmill. It was fantastic. They were all rolling. "She kicked your ass, dude!" Yes boys. A woman who is a month shy of her 38th birthday with 2 kids at home kicked his ass. That is what I call payback.
5 comments:
Haha, that's an awesome story. As my dad would say, "You Go, Girl!"
Maybe you could time your workouts to coincide with those kids' visits - they'll inadvertently help train you to set new PRs in no time!
Way to go! That is hilarious.
Heh, that's funny. Nice work!
hilarious story, especially about wanting him to puke! Way to push yourself!!!
I was really rooting for him to puke. I feel almost a bit bad. For a minute.
He so got chicked :-). Love it!
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